I Want to Blog

I have to be one of the most piss poor bloggers in history. I think a lot about different post I can write, but I never do. I decided I should step it up a little, even if I have a new 40 hour job. I can write during work in between my calls most days. I have been reading a lot at work to pass the time, so why not write some post. I think I need to focus my post more, but really all this chaos is my life.

Today I struggled with getting up to train for the half marathon. I really, really hate running. I get sweaty and bored. I cant really watch tv because the treadmill is so loud. I need to buy another fan to put in front of my machine, to keep me from being so hot. I like feeling better about myself when I'm done working out, but it is such a struggle to convince myself not to stop.

So I did my workout, took a shower, and hustled the kids to the library before I drop them off at daycare. I really hate my hours at work. I really wish I could just have my old job back and my 30 some hours a week. I am working 40 hours, 10:30-7pm. These hours suck. I get home just in time to put my kids in bed. There is a select number of stores open before 10 so it can limit the number of places I go. Since I don't NEED to get up early, I really struggle to wake up to do anything. It is so easy to take my time getting ready, that I often find that I just don't do some things.

So after I dropped the kids off, i went to Casey's Gas station. I have been craving chocolate for two days. I decided I was going to spend $5. I started looking around, and my current favorite is Snickers Peanut Butter Squares. They had 4 squares for $1.89 or 2 packages with 2 squares for $2., (and that was a sale price). I picked the 4 square pack. Then I go over and they have 2 Dr. Peppers for $2, which is a good deal. I'm kinda hungry so i decide to get popcorn chicken since they have honey mustard dipping packets. My total was over $7! I don't even know why I talk to myself about setting spending limits when I don't bother to think through my purchases. I don't know how I can always justify them, but a lot of times I convince myself that it is ok because I'm spending it in food which is a necessity.

I'm trying to do better with my spending, but I feel so deprived. It also sucks that my sisters have both gone out and spend $100 of dollars on dogs lately. Not that I want a dog, I just want the ability to have the money to buy a dog without charging it. I remember when we did buy our dog in 2005, I was able to give the breeder my Discover card. That's crazy! There are certain thing you shouldn't be able to charge, just like I think that there are certain things and/or places you shouldn't be able to use food stamp. (I'll save that rant for another post) i know I need to have more control over myself and my money, but I struggle with it everyday and my husband isn't any better. I think my sisters are only in a better financial state because their husbands have better financial sense. It also helps that they make more money too and spent less on their college education, which cant be changed. Now I'm saying I should have married better, because I love my life but, it sucks when the Joneses are your sisters, and you bond by shopping.

Ok, I think I'm done venting for today. This post has been an overload. Tune in tomorrow when I might write another post.